Warning: Don't bother reading this unless you are specifically interested in pregnancy products. This post discusses such appealing things as snoring, pain and weight gain, so consider yourself warned... It's somewhere between an extended list of great products and a bit of a whinge!
I'm having quite a different pregnancy this time, compared to when I was 'in the pudding club' with Tabitha (have you heard that phrase before? I've picked it up from a Brit friend, and I am loving it!)
With Tabitha, I worked for the first two trimesters, spending my days in 10cm heels, travelling interstate, leading 2-hour presentations to rooms full of people and generally being quite anxious about the baby - I had no idea what to expect, with none of my friends having babies, and not being the sort of girl who fussed over newborns before having one of my own.
I also managed to gain around 25kg, had very *difficult* skin (what glow?!) and had some moderate sciatica pain, carpel tunnel syndrome and reflux in the final trimester.
This pregnancy, I'm much more active (toddler-wrangling) yet far more laid-back, without pressures of paid employment or the need to be presentable at a 8am interstate function. I've been a lot sicker, yes, however I've also managed to eat more sensibly overall, and have so far put on around 9kg (at 31 weeks) which is more on target for a healthy pregnancy weight gain. My skin is actually quite good, which everyone tells me is because I am carrying a boy (apparently girls 'suck out your beauty' or something, according to the Old Wives).
No carpel tunnel yet (which I may be able to avoid, since it is often associated with the excessive weight gain) but I've had terrible back, pelvic and sciatic pain since about 14 weeks, certainly exacerbated if not caused by carrying around 12kg of Tabitha much of the time! I'm now seeing a chiropractor every fortnight, which has made a world of difference.
What else has helped with the back and hip pain? When I remember, I wear these SRC Pregnancy Shorts which (as well as being incredibly alluring) are pretty good for hip and sciatic pain. Initially, I wore them nearly every day and night for a couple of weeks, and it made a real difference. Now I'm seeing the chiropractor regularly, I haven't needed to wear them as much, although I have bought the SRC Recovery Shorts to wear after giving birth, to help repair the abdominal muscles.
Another product I want to plug, which has helped enormously with back, pelvis and leg pain, is the Gel Pro Floor Mat. These sent-from-heaven-via-the-USA kitchen floor mats are 'anti-fatigue' with a '100 per cent revolutionary gel core'. I first saw them on the Martha Stewart Show (they use them in the MS test kitchens) and after trying in vain to find a similar product in Australia, I bit the bullet and paid to have one sent from the US. The company itself doesn't ship to Australia, but I used the parcel forwarding service Shipito.com which I found to have the best rates. If you are interested in one (and you should be, if you spend lots of time on your feet in the kitchen!) the GelPro company was really helpful at providing the exact shipping dimensions and weight, so I could get an accurate shipping quote from Shipito. I purchased a fairly large mat (from their clearance section - I found the prettiest pale blue ostrich print one to match my kitchen!) and it cost around $100 to send it, within 5 days, to Australia. It has been money well spent - everyone who stands on it sighs in bliss, and even if I'm not cooking, I often wander into the kitchen to just stand on it, because it is so comfy!
Speaking of comfort - this pregnancy, the reflux kicked in much earlier, and from around 22 weeks, I was waking up all night from the burning. So gross. Last pregnancy, I managed to sort of prop myself up on several pillows, and sleep in a semi-sitting position for the last few weeks when it was really bad, but I found that really damaged my back, because I was lying on all sorts of strange angles. So this time, because it started so early, I shelled out for a proper 'contoured angled sleeping wedge' from Theraputic Pillow International. It has been heavenly, and I can't believe I managed without it last time - not only does it completely fix the reflux overnight (so far) but it also allows me to sleep on my back (which is generally a no-no in later pregnancy) because I'm elevated instead of flat. I then tuck another pillow under my knees, and I am comfy and cosy. The Daddy has been terribly good about the whole thing - the un-sexy pillow arrangement - and assures me it's not as ridiculous as it looks. Plus, he tells me that my (normally deafening) pregnancy snoring is almost cured with the wedge pillow. So points all round! After the baby arrives, it will be useful turned on its end as a slightly reclining sit-up pillow for breastfeeding in bed too, I think.
And now that I've mentioned snoring - I know I'm not the only pregnant woman to suffer from terrible congestion. I have a lot of allergies, normally kept under control by allergy medication which is not allowed during pregnancy. Added to this, pregnancy causes your sinus tissue to swell and the body to produce more fluid and mucous (jeepers, this is so gross, I hope only other pregnant and/or sympathetic people are reading!). This is all a recipe for major congestion - the sort that stops you sleeping, and has you blowing your nose every minute or two during the day. So my best solution - which is working well so far - is a combination of Rhinocort nasal spray (which is categorised as completely safe for pregnancy in the US, and 'most likely' safe for pregnancy in Australia, particularly after the first trimester) and I also use a steam vapouriser overnight, every night. This has made a huge difference.
Moving well away from mucous and pain - I can hear sighs of relief - and onto nicer things like body lotions and clothes...
Last pregnancy, I diligently coated myself in Bio Oil and Tinderbox Pregnancy Belly Rub oil, in the hope of avoiding stretch marks. Now, that's all well and good, except that the two biggest factors in stretch marks are genetics and amount of weight gained. Considering I have that sort of dry, pale skin which is prone to them, and I packed on loads of weight, I was pretty lucky, but I certainly gained a decent amount of marks. They quickly faded away to pale, barely visible marks, and they don't bother me much at all, but I have accepted that all the oils in the world can't prevent them (unfortunately, this is also backed up by research). This time, I am still using oils, but just because I like the smell and they make (tight, dry) pregnancy belly skin feel nice. So I am still using the Tinderbox oil (smells incredible) and I am also using Dr Bronner's Whole Kernel Virgin Coconut Oil, which isn't too messy at all, sinks in quickly, and makes my whole body smell (and taste, apparently) just like a coconut rough chocolate! So there you go.
For maternity clothing this time, I pretty much needed to start again! The clothes from last time were mostly too big, or else from the wrong season (June baby vs November baby). This time, I was in maternity clothes a bit earlier, too, since second and subsequent pregnancies seem to 'pop' earlier. I managed to stay in my pre-pregnancy jeans until around 24 weeks (very low cut, so they sat under the bump) but had to wear maternity tops nearly from the start. Being tall, I find that close-fitting clothes are generally best (otherwise I look like a ship in full sail) so I bought a whole lot of great pieces from Isabella Oliver Maternity, including this brilliant dress in black, which I wear to death and get lots of great comments on, as well as a few of these tops in different colours, and a couple of other layering and wrap style tops. I have a couple of great pairs of maternity jeans (I like these ones) and lots of beautiful, colourful Hermes scarves, over the top of all the basic black tops and dresses, mean I never feel dull or boring even though I am wearing the same outfits over and over again. The quality of the fabric and tailoring in the Isabella Oliver line is really impressive, and I can definitely see myself continuing to wear the dress and tops long after the baby arrives, next winter.
Moving into the warmer weather, I have fallen in love with More of Me Maternity (also available from Queen Bee Maternity in Australia), a US label which produces really gorgeous, high-quality pieces. I am loving wearing the Blake T-shirt Dress, the Avery Maxi Dress, the Maternichic Dress, the Beatrix Dress and the Agnes Dress, in particular. Yep, basically my whole Spring/Summer wardrobe is from the one place - but seriously, the clothes are so well cut, and I look forward to passing them onto whichever of my friends is next pregnant in the warmer months!
Now my next two big sartorial challenges - I have two weddings to go to, one about a week BEFORE the baby is due, and one about 2-3 weeks AFTER the baby is due. I don't know which one is more terrifying to dress for - the week prior, I will be so enormous and swollen that nothing will look good, or the wedding so soon after - well, it's during that hard time when you still look about 6-months pregnant, and need to have easy breastfeeding access in whatever you wear. So, I have no idea what I will wear to either event!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
11 comments:
Ugh. Pregnancy. Mine were v similar, but I did also have two girls. Bet you are looking forward to the end now.
I went to a wedding at 37 weeks. I ended up buying a dress from ASOS, they have a v reasonable maternity range.
Good luck for the next few weeks x
You mentioned working when pregnant the first time around...and it seems you haven't returned to work since having your daughter. Can I ask about you reasons for staying home with your child?
My son (first and only so far) is 13 months and I am really struggling with the 'to go back to work or not' dilemma. I feel sick at the thought of putting him in to a child care centre (and other forms of child care, such as a nanny or grandparents are not an option for us), but am struggling with my identity as someone who doesn't work. I also wonder if I remain employable after a period of (potentially) several years out of the workforce. Truthfully, I don't think I could cope with work (even part time) and looking after an increasingly active toddler who still doesn't sleep very well. Plus, I would like to have another baby sooner rather than later. I was initially going to go back to work after 12 months off, but then extended my leave by another 6 months. I am due back in February next year, but really don't think I am going to be able to do it. And I feel sick about this too!!
Great blog post!
I had a few things from Isabella Oliver and wore them all the time during the second and third trimester, next pregnancy I will be buying a whole lot more!!
I was very fortunate I had an easy pregnancy and only experienced reflux in the last month and then only if I ate spicy food or anything with tomatoes.
Do you have any advice on how to stay stylish whilst breast feeding during the summer? I am already over the jeans, top and cardigan combo I have been sporting for the last 2 months.
I am a dress person so I fear wearing shorts this summer…. I have one shirt dress and another that will be fine for feeding but otherwise I am stuck.
Everything I see online is a bit meh or is maternity/feeding which I don’t really want.
Ahh HI thanks, I will check out ASOS, I know the quality isn't always great but for a single-wear item it might be the way to go! Yep I am looking forward to the end!! 45 hours of labour last time, but a walk in the park compared to months of sick, painful pregnancy!
EJ - it is difficult! I also prefer to wear mostly dresses (have never owned shorts, never will!) and it's hard finding good styles to feed in. I wore a lot of 50s style shirtdresses, just undoing a couple of buttons to feed, as well as wrap dresses. Maxi dresses with thin and / or stretchy straps to pull aside also worked well for me - but having said that, I am comfortable with being quite 'nude' when I feed, while I know some women aren't.
I also wore lots of 50s style waisted, full skirts - either with a stretchy tank top that could be pulled down, or with a looser blouse that could be untucked and pulled up to feed. You can wear a stretchy camisole underneath if you'd rather not flash miles of belly skin!
One thing I found really helped was the fact that I went back to wearing 'regular' bras after about 8 months from memory - nursing bras were too large and showed through most of my clothes, and I preferred the shape given by a gently molded underwire. Of course, it's not quite as easy to feed, but I didn't mind just folding and squishing the bras a bit, once she was older and feeding wasn't as frequent.
Marnie – that sounds really tough, sorry you’re having a hard time with the decision. There are often so many factors involved, and it’s hard to know what you will want to do before you have your baby, so many women change their minds about their work arrangements after having kids!
I would like to preface my comments by saying that it is an incredibly personal decision, and what works for one woman and family certainly won’t work for every woman and family (wouldn’t that be easy?!), and also that I am fortunate that there has been no financial need for me to return to paid work.
But overall, I think the major point for myself, is that I had always planned to be a full time mother – right from when I was at university. As soon as I was at an age where I began to think (vaguely) about having children one day – I suppose I was around 18 or 19 – I decided that for me, being a full time mother was the only choice. I feel very strongly that a full time mother can offer her children and family a lot, and can also be incredibly fulfilled by the role (as can women who work part or full time). Even in the early days of dating my (now) husband, I brought this up, because I wasn’t interested in settling down with someone who didn’t feel the same way. Thankfully, he is also incredibly supportive of my choice to be a full time mother, and often comments on the great job he thinks I do, which I find really nice to hear (as you don’t get the same praise from your ‘boss’ aka child for a job well done as you might in paid employment!)
Marnie (con't) - I do not struggle with my identity as a full time mother – I do not see myself as ‘someone who doesn’t work’, rather I see my work as full time, demanding and incredibly valuable. I personally can’t think of anything more important, or that I would rather be doing, than raising my children. Even on the ‘tough’ days, I love being at home, because I would rather it was me dealing (with motherly love) with Tabitha’s difficult, crabby days than someone else. I can honestly say there has not been a SINGLE day (in well over two years) that I have wished I was at work instead. Mostly because I (and my husband) really value what I do. In fact – when I was a worker, I struggled a bit with my identity! I was desperate to have a baby, and saw myself as a ‘childless mother’ until that day came.
I think if you are planning on being a full time mother, it is important to work on shaping and developing that new identity. Many of my friends who took a year of maternity leave wanted (quite understandably!) to spend every moment with their baby. However long term, this isn’t necessarily the way to go, I think. I make sure that I develop my own interests and identity outside and beyond motherhood – so I play cello, cook, read and study social history, garden, have several interesting pets, and do volunteer work. Tabitha goes to Ocassional Care one or two mornings a week (for 3 hours) at a centre I really love and trust (I’m on the Committee there), both for her enjoyment and development, and so that I have time by myself. I think that taking time to look after myself, physically and mentally, and have time by myself to do things I enjoy, is really important for both keeping me happy and vibrant as a mother, and for demonstrating to Tabitha that I value myself. I’m not a ‘drop everything’ martyr type of mother. Tabby knows that she will need to wait 5 minutes for a snack if I am putting on makeup – no, this might not be a vital thing, but it makes me feel good, and she learns patience while she waits.
Marnie (con't) If you are considering full time motherhood, I really recommend reading a book called ‘My Heart’s at Home’ http://www.amazon.com/My-Hearts-Home-Becoming-Intentional/dp/0736918264 and possibly also Professionalising Motherhood (same author). Both have a Christian focus, however I am not religious and I still took a lot from both books. I first read them both before Tabitha was born, and refer back to them often. They helped me define and develop my role as a full time mother, and inspire me to be the best parent I can be.
If you are keen to explore other childcare options (and of course you’re not the first mother to struggle with the idea of full time childcare centres!), have you considered formal Family Day Care? I know some families who have had great experience with their children in FDC, you still get government subsidies, and your child is cared for in a more nurturing family environment (although like any childcare, it depends on finding the right match for your child).
As for remaining employable after a prolonged absence from the workforce – would you consider a new career or job after your time out? For me, I acknowledge that I might want to go back to some part time work once my children are older, however I think I would prefer to start a small business or something, or possibly even do some further education. So I am not worried about the many years off. But for, say, someone planning on returning to work as a lawyer or accountant, I can certainly see how this might be problematic!
This is a ridiculously long response! If you want to chat more about it, please feel free to message me your email (via comments). It’s such a hard decision, and I could talk for hours about it – about the positives for me and my family. But overall, I think that my message would be, if you can afford to stay at home full time, and you would like to, then it can be an incredibly rewarding, valuable and important job. You can redefine your identity as a strong, independent and nurturing woman, not just as a mother, and volunteer work is often an important part of that – feeling that you are engaged and contributing to the wider community as well as your own family.
I will reply later but I just realised I posted your comment without realising your email was in it - if you'd like me to remove the comment, please let me know. I posted it because I feel it's a valuable conversation to have, that others might benefit from if they have similar thoughts, but let me know if you'd prefer me to take it down! x TM
Arghh so sorry Marnie, I removed your comment but then it deleted all the content!!
So I don't have your email - feel free to flick it to me again if you can be bothered! I can't remember everything you wrote but I do remember you commenting about the reluctance of the women in your circle / mothers group to discuss staying at home, returning to work and motivations etc. I think this is SO common, and really unfortunate. I completely understand why it is the case - so often, explaining or justifying your own choices can come across as inadvertently criticising the different choices that others have made, and also many of the reasons which inform these choices (finances, mental health, self-esteem etc) are delicate issues to discuss.
But I do wish that women could be a bit more open about their choices, because I find it interesting and useful to hear about other people's choices, experiences etc with motherhood. I suppose it's just challenging to do so in a completely open, empathetic and non-judgmental way!
Thanks for the tips, I pulled my summer dresses out of storage (aka spare bedrooms’ wardrobe) and I have a few more dresses that I can make work. Looks like I might have to embrace the skirt again too.
With regards to your comments on the return to work/not return to work. I told my previous employer at 6 months along I was pregnant and would resign officially at 36 weeks. My colleagues were very surprised and I had some people demand I think about it and take the 12 months maternity leave, whilst I enjoyed working there I just am not a career woman.
I am the only mother in my mother’s group who quit her job; everyone else has plans of returning to work, so in some ways I feel a bit different. (Cloth nappies, baby wearing, sometimes bed sharing – I guess you may know what it feels like The Mummy?)
My partner is currently working for someone else during the week and starting up his business on the weekends so I may get a few days’ work at some stage to supplement his income if and when he quits his “real job” it could take a few years to build up his business to the stage where he is earning good money.
Unlike you the Mummy I never saw myself as a mother until I met my other half, it was only then I entertained the idea of having children. So far I am enjoying it immensely, its only early days she is after all only 9 weeks old. All my friends and family are commenting that I am a “natural mother” and make things look easy. I credit my attitude to Pinky McKays “Parenting By Heart” such a good read, if I hadn’t found your blog I may never have read it so Thanks!
Post a Comment