So this morning we came home, after being at the O'Connell Family Centre in Canterbury for four nights, working on Tabitha's sleeping.
Tabby has been waking up 1-3 hourly overnight, and only sleeping 30-60 minutes at a time during the day. She has also found it difficult to get to sleep - it distracts her if we pat or rock her, but she was getting a little upset if we left her alone to get to sleep.
So, the big question - how did it go?! In short - fantastic! No stress, no tears, great results, quite relaxing.
With regard to the settling and sleeping - at the start of the week, I wrote that I would like to be feeding her at 6pm, 10pm, 2am and when she wakes at 6am. Well, that is exactly what we're now doing! Her bedtime is between 7 - 7:30pm, and on the first night, she woke at 9:30. I went and stood outside her door with the nurse, instead of going in to feed her, and she cried out a few times, grizzled for a minute, then went straight back to sleep. I then did a 'dreamfeed' (feeding her while she is still half asleep) at 10pm. She woke at around 2am, and I lay quietly and let her grizzle - she went back to sleep, and slept through until 3am. I fed her, then she slept through until 6:30am. From then on, I was feeding her half an hour before bed, at around 10pm, and once in the middle of the night (between 2 - 4am), and then when she wakes in the morning. Sometimes, she does wake up, but instead of feeding her, she grizzles and goes back to sleep on her own! She seems much more rested in the mornings.
After re-settling her only twice for daytime sleeps, she now sleeps for between 1 - 2 hours, three times a day. Our vague 'routine' is loosely like this:
- 6:30am wake up. Breastfeed at 7am, breakfast toast at 7:30am, play for an hour with toys and books.
- 8:30am nap time.
- 10:30am wake up. Breastfeed at 11am, activity out of the house (Gymbaroo, swimming, shopping etc.)
- 12:30pm nap time.
- 2:00pm wake up. Breastfeed at 2:30pm. Lunch. Play out of doors - backyard, park, out for a walk.
- 4:00pm nap time.
- 5:00pm wake up. Dinner. Quiet play at home - blocks, stories, songs etc.
- 6:30pm breastfeed and pre-bed routine (clean teeth - all 6 of them! - pajamas on, read a story etc.)
- 7:00pm bedtime.
- 10:30pm dreamfeed
- 3:30am night feed
There you go. We follow that now, very roughly. She is thriving, really seems to enjoy the routine. Go figure! I'm not really a 'routine' person, and when she was a little baby it was much better for us to be loose and cruisey, but this timetable works nicely now. I will do things pretty much the same way with the next baby, only I think I'll start working to this sort of routine a little earlier, maybe 5 or 6 months.
The O'Connell Centre nurses were all brilliant, really kind and compassionate and knowledgeable, and always happy to play with the babies (blowing bubbles, reading stories etc.) while I had a shower, got breakfast or tidied up. It was incredibly relaxing having all of our meals prepared, as well - the babies were given steamed vegetables and meat, as well as cereal, toast etc., and the lunches and dinners for the parents were really decent - lots of veggies, healthy, large servings. We had stir-fry, roast lamb, sticky date pudding, couscous salad, apple strudel - and twice a day, homemade treats like pikelets, brownies and spinach muffins came out on a big plate! I definitely got used to that, and am already missing Snack O'Clock!
We also had some planned activities, such as painted 'footprints' for the babies, which the nurses laminated for us; a talk on reading to babies, and choosing good books; a few walks around the neighbourhood; a session on ways to relax and nurture ourselves (!); and there was also an evening for the dads to chat about any issues they had, with each other, run by a male staffer.
Were there any downsides? Absolutely. Communal living is lovely in some ways - there is always someone to chat to, and a baby to play with - however sharing a bathroom is never fun, and at night, the babies' crying and waking did keep me awake a fair amount, particularly on the first night (although Tabitha didn't wake). Overall, though, I wouldn't hesitate to recommend it, in particularly because of how gentle the whole process was. We learnt a lot - much more than I can jot down here - and I have lots of confidence going forward, even if things 'regress' for a week, which apparently is quite common when the baby is back home in their usual surroundings.
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