Pain and blogging

Yeowch!  I've been knitting like mad, working on two gifts, and my right hand is really sore.  While I was pregnant, I was working on a few things for the baby (blankets and a jacket), and in the last month or so of the pregnancy I developed dreadful carpel tunnel syndrome, and couldn't finish everything.  Thankfully the nice women at the wool shop I go to offered to finish sewing up my work, which I am very grateful for!

Here is one of the blankets I crocheted for the baby, pale green and cream:

However the lesson is - if you're pregnant and knitting or crocheting, please allow lots of time to finish, because carpel tunnel and bad swelling is common at the end of pregnancies.

I wanted to share some links to a few of my current favourite blogs:

Faux Fuchsia - an incredibly glamorous lady, whose style I envy, and whose gardening, DIY and cooking skills I am frequently inspired by.  FF is expecting a baby Any Day Now, and no doubt her baby will be gorgeous like her.

Fat Mum Slim - a lovely, hilarious and cheerful mother who takes beautiful photographs.  Also lots of great recipes, and her daughter is a sweet little gem.

PepperSaltSugarSpice - a gorgeous couple, both foodies, one trained as a chef, who explore regional food destinations, post beautiful photos of things they have cooked, and also post from overseas destinations with enticing meals they have enjoyed.  A really nicely written blog!

Paprika Chicken

When we have fresh sesame bagels from Aviv in the house, all is right in my little world.  They are such a superior bagel - chewy, sweet and dense.  They must really be eaten fresh on the day they are made, or else toasted the next day.  Beyond that, they get stale.  I like mine with loads of full fat cream cheese and a layer of smoked salmon.

It also makes me happy to have fresh flowers in the house - no matter how clean the house is, it never feels truly finished unless there are a few vases of flowers.  I like 'fluffy' white and pastel flowers such as peonies, lissianthus, ranunculus, sweet peas, oversized chrysanthemums, hydrangeas, gardenias and David Austin roses.  In the bathroom, I keep vases of freesias or stephanotis - they are clean and crisp and have perfume the bathroom with a lovely fresh fragrance.

We had my family over for dinner today - I made Hungarian paprika chicken with nokedli, and a spiced warm apple cake for dessert.

Serious cooking required serious equipment.  Do you think that my current KitchenAid situation is overkill?

I am a huge supporter of mis en plas.  Starting to cook anything even vaguely complex is always best when you begin by preparing all of the ingredients, measured, sliced, ready to go.  It helps keep the kitchen clean while you go too - I prepare everything, clean up, then begin cooking.

Here is my mis en plas for paprika chicken (minus the chicken, which remains in the fridge).  You can see 3 cups of sliced white onions, 2 1/4 cups of strong chicken stock, 2 bay leaves, 3 tablespoons of plain four, 3 cloves finely sliced garlic, 1/2 cup of sweet paprika (best quality you can find), 60g butter.  In the fridge, I had 10 chicken thighs (skinless) and 1.5 cups of creme fraiche (you could also use sour cream).

Here is the mis en plas for the nokedli - 3 eggs, 1 cup of milk (in the fridge), 420g plain flour, 1/2 teaspoon of salt, 1/2 teaspoon of freshly grated nutmeg (dry ingredients mixed together).

To make the paprika chicken, you need to brown the chicken thighs in some olive oil in a large frypan.  Do this in batches of 3 or 4 thighs.  As each batch is nicely browned (a few minutes each side), set them aside in a large bowl.

When all the chicken is browned and set aside, add the butter to the fat in the pan, and melt.  Over medium-high heat, add the sliced onions, and cook, stirring, until the onions are well softened and lightly coloured (around 10 minutes).  At this point, sprinkle the paprika and the flour over the onions, and cook, stirring continuously, for a minute - it will look like this:

Add the bay leaves:

Add the chicken stock and garlic.  Bring the mixture to the boil, stirring continuously.  At this point, I transfer the mixture to a large enamel cast iron pot (26cm Le Creuset).

Add the chicken and its juices to the mixture and cook over low heat (so that the mixture is barely bubbling), stirring occasionally, until the thighs are cooked and the meat is tender and comes apart when poked firmly with a wooden spoon (20 or so minutes, I'd say).

Remove the chicken pieces to a clean bowl, and discard the bay leaves.

Leave the sauce for a few minutes to settle, then use a large flat spoon to skim most of the fat off the surface - the fat will appear as a dark red oil.  Discard the fat.

Boil the sauce over high heat, stirring occasionally to stop it sticking, until very thick - almost like porridge.  Remove from heat, and add the creme fraiche, stirring through until combined.  Return the sauce to high heat, boil until thickened, then add chicken to the pot and heat thoroughly.

To make the nokedi, add the beaten eggs and milk to the dry ingredients, and stir GENTLY (too much stirring will make tough nokedli).  You will have a runny yet elastic dough - a little thicker than thick pancake batter.  It should fall from a wooden spoon, but not be runny.  You can add extra milk, a tablespoon at a time, if you need more liquid.  Leave to rest for 15 minutes.

You then need to drop tiny pieces of the nokedli into a large pot of boiling water.  I use a special nokedli maker (also called a spaetzle press), however you can use a large-holed colander and push the mixture through with a wooden spoon.

The little nokedli are cooked when they float to the surface (a few minutes).  You are best to do this in a few batches - scoop out the cooked pieces with a large slotted spoon, and sit them all in a colander until they are all cooked.  Then, toss them through with a little butter and salt.

Tabitha loved the paprika chicken - I had worried that the flavour might be a little strong for her, but she adored it, grasping a piece in each fist and cramming lots into her mouth, making 'mmmmm' noises.  She also ate some green beans (which I served with the dinner).  My little sister (9) also loved the paprika chicken, so I would say that the dish is very child-friendly.

In fact, the first times I enjoyed paprika chicken and nokedli were when I was very small - toddler and primary school aged - at the house of family friends of ours, who were Hungarian.

Look at her, all shiny - she is covered in sauce from the chicken!

After dinner, I made a nice warm apple cake with a cinnamon and demerara sugar topping, which we ate with ice cream.  It's handy having two mixers for big cooking days like today - however the green one belongs to my friend, and sadly has to go back to its home soon!

This was several hours ago, and I am still so full that I feel queasy thinking about eating breakfast tomorrow.

Swimming Lessons

Because I have had a bad cold, I didn't want to get in the pool with Tabitha at her swimming lesson - no point adding my germs to the Germ Soup that is a local pool!

So my best friend Amy came to the rescue, and took Tabitha swimming for her lesson.

During the lesson, the babies are continually helped to swim to the edge, and assisted to pull themselves out, crawling clear of the water.  It is hoped that they will eventually learn that, if they fall into water, they should swim to the edge and climb out, or at least cling to the edge.

Tabby loves her swimming lessons - she puts her head under the water for a few seconds, and although she always seems most surprised by this, she remains cheerful for the lesson!

We went to Hays Paddock for Mothers' Group - it is a massive adventure playground, designed for all children including those with disabilities.  It is well worth checking out, even with older children, as the equiptment is really challenging.

While we were there, a strange looking pigeon kept harassing us.  It had a fancy feather arrangement around its neck, like an Elizabethan neck-ruff - so elegant.  I suspect it was a domestically bred pigeon which had escaped, since it was SO tame!  It ate (stole!) bread out of our hands and kept climbing ONTO the babies as they crawled around.  Some of the babies were terrified of it (which I must admit was cute to watch) but Tabitha kept trying to grab it and bite it!  One mother picked it up and carried it all the way to the other end of the park, but it just walked back, following her, and wouldn't leave us alone.  Strange!

NB: I realised I should point out that feeding bread to birds isn't a great idea, even though lots of us used to do it as kids, I think - the yeast isn't good for them.  Birds are better foraging for their own seeds and worms, and certainly not stealing chocolate biscuits as I saw the swans at the Botanic gardens do once, eek!!!

I used some of the passionfruit from our backyard vine to make a passionfruit slice, which I took along to mothers' group.

Here are some of our passionfruit:

Here is my recipe:

Line a slice pan (18cm x 27cm) with baking paper, coming up the sides a little (you can use this to lift the slice out when it's done).  Preheat the oven to 180 degrees.

Combine 80g icing sugar, 165g self raising flour, 95g dessicated coconut and 125g melted butter in a bowl, stirring until it comes together.

Press evenly into the prepared slice pan, and bake for around 12 or so minutes, or until lightly browned and risen.  Leave aside to cool a little while you make the topping.

Take about 6 passionfruit (this really depends on the size - sorry, I can't be too specific!), and scoop the pulp into a strainer over a bowl.  You need to collect about 2 tablespoons (40ml) of the juice without seeds.

 To the 2 tablespoons of passionfruit juice, add 50ml of passionfruit pulp (seeds and juice from while passionfruits - about 4, depending on size).  You will have a total of 90ml of passionfruit.

Tip a tin of condensed milk (395g) into a bowl.  Add 115ml lemon juice, and the 90ml of passionfruit.  Stir together, the mixture will thicken slightly.  Pour this over the base, and bake for 10 minutes.

Put the slice in the fridge.  When cool, you can remove it and cut it into 4cm squares.  Store in the fridge in an airtight container.  This slice made about 24 pieces, which lasted less than 24 hours!

Banana French Toast

I have discovered the perfect breakfast for Tabitha.  I like her to have something nutritious for breakfast, being the First Meal of the Day and all that - ideally, I like her to have some carbs, protein, good fats and fruit (she gets her dairy from Mumma Dairy Cow!).

Well, I have invented a wonderful 'all-in-one' breakfast.  It occurred to me a while ago that French toast fingers would be good for her - just bread and eggs (with a dash of milk), and easier for her to eat than either plain toast OR plain eggs (French Toast is much sturdier and easier to hold and nibble than regular toast).

So for the last couple of weeks, most mornings The Daddy or I have made her some French toast, cut into fingers.  I fry the toast in extra virgin olive oil, so there is some good fats.  So far, there is carbs, protein and good fats.  Now, what about the fruit??

Here comes the brilliance - I tried mashing up half a very ripe banana with a fork, until it was basically a puree.  I then mixed the banana mush with the egg/milk mixture, and dipped the bread into it - as I put it in the hot pan, I scooped a little more of the eggy banana on the top, and when I flipped the toast, I added more eggy banana again, repeating the process and turning it a couple of times.

The result is a very thick, egg-and-banana-laden piece of French toast.  I then cut it into fingers, and let them cool for a bit.  WOW it tastes great!  I don't think I can go back to regular French toast!  I have mine with a dash of maple syrup, but Tabitha has hers plain or with a sprinkle of cinnamon, and loves it.

Now, perhaps someone has already invented this?  Never mind, I am laying claim, as I came up with it on my own.  I plan to try the same technique with stewed apple, blueberries and other fruits.

Lush and Scaley

Went out for a coffee and shopping this morning with a friend (and her beautiful, cheerful and stylishly dressed baby!) at Chadstone, and managed to run a whooole lot of 'to do' errands from my list as well.  Productive day.

Managed to run out of most of my skincare all at once, which meant a stop in to LUSH.  I have used bits and pieces from Lush in the past, and generally liked their stuff, however when I was pregnant, my skin went kinda crazy (dry, sensitive and breakouts), and Lush was really my savior!  I tried loads of products, and am now pretty loyal to my Lush picks.

Below, clockwise from top left, is Angels on Bare Skin cleanser, Ambrosia shaving cream, Eau Roma Water, a couple of free samples (Lovely Jubblies breast cream and Miranda soap), Ultrabland cleanser, Oatifix mask and Paradise Regained moisturiser.

NOTE - sorry, below links are to the US and UK sites, since the AU site is down.

• Angels on Bare Skin is a gentle, moisturising and nourishing exfoliating cleanser.  It's Lush's biggest selling cleanser worldwide, and is so simple - just ground almonds, clay, lavender oil, rose, chamomile and Tagetes oils, fresh lavender flowers, and some glycerin.
• Ambrosia is TD's shaving cream - really gentle and soothing.
• I buy the Eau Roma spray, which is just lavender water and rose waters, because it is nice and cheap.  I used to use Jurlique rosewater spray, but it was more than double the price
• Ultrabland is a really hardcore cleanser!  It's a thick, waxy mixture of almond oil, rosewater, beeswax, honey and a few plant extracts.  It's sort of a hassle to use (you have to massage it in for a minute or so, then steam it off with a hot wet cloth) but it is totally worth it, especially if your skin is freaking out.  I use it about every second day (I use Angels every morning, and either Ultrabland or plain Cetaphil in the evenings).  Ultrabland is excellent at removing even heavy makeup.
• I used to adore the Brazened Honey mask, but it's way too intense for my now-sensitive skin.  I love the Oatifix mask now - it softens, moisturises, calms and deep-cleanses, and just contains oatmeal, fresh organic bananas, glycerin, ground almonds, illipe butter, clay, vanilla and some other oils and natural ingredients.  You have to keep it in the fridge, and a pot only lasts a few weeks, but it is a brilliant mask and smells delicious to apply!
• I've mentioned Paradise Regained, my moisturiser, before.  It's firming and full of natural fruit enzymes, which keep skin smooth and bright - it's supposed to be an anti-ageing moisturiser, but it works perfectly on my skin, keeping things soft and clear.  As well as pineapple enzymes, it contains fresh green grapes, green tea, organic cocoa butter, almond oil, and quite a few natural oils and infusions.

I find you get great 'bang for your buck' at Lush, because the products are exceptionally good, packed full of organic and natural high quality active ingredients, with no 'fillers' and gums, mineral oils etc.  Pretty much NO money goes into their packaging or advertising, so you are really paying for the high quality products.  Much more eco-friendly packaging, too, than most brands, and every time you return 5 little black tubs, you get a free face mask!

I was folding and hanging Tabitha's washing this afternoon when I noticed it is all very coordinated.  I never thought much about how her clothes go together, but now I realise that 90 per cent of what I buy all matches with each other.  I stick to navy, blue, and pale and dark pinks.  This is partially because these are the colours that suit her (reds, greens and brighter colours wash her out), but it is also very handy to stick to one colour palette, as it means that everything can go with each other, in a very 'This goes with that' Sussan sort of way!

I thoroughly recommend this approach to baby clothes - it means that dressing her is a breeze, since you can generally grab any few items from her wardrobe (pants, top and coat, for example) and they will go together well.  It helps to buy most of her clothes from just a couple of shops, too, since each store tends to stick to one or two main colour palettes.  I buy almost all of Tabitha's 'everyday' clothes at Country Road and Seed.  The quality is excellent, too - I have never had a button come off, or anything pill, fade or stretch.

Now that Tabby is crawling, dresses aren't so practical (since her knees get caught on the dress), and she goes through lots more pants, since the knees get quite filthy!  So her current wardrobe (which should do her through Autumn and Winter) consists of:

• 3 pairs of patterned baggy/harem type pants
• 5 pairs of leggings (navy, pale pink, pale pink stripes, silver/grey marle and navy stripes)
• 5 long-sleeve tops (a couple of Henley-style, and some pretty long-sleeve t-shirts with detailing)
• 3 cardigans (white with a simple bow on the pocket, pink with a white stripe around the middle, with sleeves that can button up, and another pale pink plain one)
• 2 hand knitted jackets
• 1 lovely cashmere pale pink cable knit poncho (gift)
• 1 pale pink, soft and padded reversible woolen button-up jacket with a hood (very warm and snuggly)
• A pale pink wool beanie with ear-flaps
• A pink and cream stripe wool beanie
• A couple of dresses with tights for any special occasions
• About 6 pairs of socks
• About 6 singlets
  
• Finally, I am going to go and buy a couple of pairs of soft-soled shoes, now that she is 'walking' around the furniture, holding on, and likes to do this outside.  Bare feet are fine in summer, but she needs some shoes for winter.  I will get them from Bobux, who do excellent children's shoes.

I would say that's a fairly thorough wardrobe, without being over-the-top.  As the weather gets colder, I might add a woolen jumper or two, and I will simply layer her long-sleeve tops with singlets underneath.

In other news - our beautiful Diamond Python, Marilyn, is growing - she is still quite tiny, but is a voracious eater and is lovely to handle.

Slow Weekend

Given Tabitha's illness over the last week, we had a nice quiet weekend.  Visits on Friday evening from Godmother Sophie and my friend Amy.  A few visitors on Saturday (my godfather Tim, my godson/Tabitha's godfather Noah, my father) then in the afternoon we went for a nice long walk with Amy, with Tabitha wrapped high on my back, giggling the whole way.

Today, Sunday, we went for brunch at Snow Pony with my parents, sister, grandfather and aunt.  A lazy afternoon in the back garden, swinging on the hammock, watching Tabby race around, crawling madly after the cats with a broccoli florette in one fist, and some cold roast pork in the other fist, stopping every now and then to munch.  She also ate a whole lot of crunchy dried leaves.

This evening, made an early dinner - roast chicken, roast potatoes (which I do in duck fat and lemon juice), roast garlic, and gravy, which is dead easy to make - if you normally bother with measuring out Gravox powder, try one day to make ordinary gravy, which is easier, I think, and tastes better.  Strain a little fat off the juices in the roasting tray, sprinkle a couple of tablespoons of plain flour over the juices, stir well with a wooden spoon to loosen all the roasted-on bits, add about a half cup of water, then stir (in the roasting tin, if you have a heavy-bottomed one) over medium heat, stirring, until the gravy comes together and thickens.

I had run out of kitchen string, so my lovely free range chicken is all legs-akimbo!

Tabitha liked her dinner - a piece of chicken in one fist, and a 1/4 potato in the other:

Afterwards, I made some nice comforting rice pudding.  I think this is a nice finish to a roast, however I often make it for my lunch, and then eat the rest, cold or room temperature, digging it out of the dish, over the rest of the afternoon!  It makes the whole house smell brilliant - a rich, heavy fug of vanilla and nutmeg.

Rice pudding is just about the simplest dessert I know of:

Lightly grease a 4-cup shallow ovenproof dish (roughly 20cm x 30cm).

Wash 1/2 a cup of short or medium grain rice well under cold water, and drain well.

Combine, in the dish, the rice, 2 1/2 cups of full cream milk, 1/4 cup of caster sugar (I use vanilla-infused caster sugar, because I keep it in the house), 2 tablespoons of sultanas and 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract.  Mix lightly.

Dot the top with 2 teaspoons of butter, and sprinkle with freshly ground nutmeg (I don't have a fancy nutmeg grater - I just use a fine Microplane).

Bake in a 150 degree oven for 1.5 - 2 hours, or until most of the milk is absorbed and the rice is cooked.

Serve warm or cold with ice cream, cream, stewed fruit or jam.  Or eat cold from the dish with a fork!

The Daddy likes his with jam and cream:

This evening, the upstairs neighbours (who are expecting their baby Any Day Now) came knocking on our door - there was a baby possum in their pot-plant, they explained, and they came for our help (since we are known as 'the animal people').  I went up to look - in fact, it was just a young possum, not a baby, and I think had simply gotten 'lost'.  I gently scooped it into our large cane washing basket, with a towel, and then released it at the base of a tree near the back of the block.  It scurried up the tree and off into the dusk.  I must say, it was mighty cute, all soft fur and giant eyes.  Our younger cat is called Possum - because when he was a tiny kitten, he too was all soft brown fur and giant liquid-amber eyes.

Sick baby

Tabitha has a nasty little cold - with a rattling chesty cough, poor little mite.

She is okay, sleeping fairly well (with long naps during the day), but she is all red-eyed and bleary and sad and coughing.

I tried to get a photo of her looking all sad and sick, but she continues in her quest to be the World's Happiest Baby and stubbornly refused to look poorly:

Despite photographic evidence to the contrary, she really is ill.  If I walk more than a few steps away from her she cries and cries - poor muffin must feel just rotten.

As a parent, you need to find the silver lining, or else it's easy to get down.  So instead of complaining about having a sick baby, here is my list of the not-so-bad parts of sickness:

• Tabitha is extra-cuddly.  When I get her up from her nap, she just wraps around me for a cuddle.  When she's playing on the floor, she keeps crawling over to me for more long cuddles.  She is happy to rest her head on my shoulder and just have a hug for a while.  It's nice.

• I have stayed at home this week, not going to our ordinary activities (Gymbaroo, swimming etc) because she needs to rest.  So we've actually had a really lovely quiet week at home, reading lots of stories, building block castles, and making up songs about cats!

• We have pretty much been in our pyjamas all week!  Comfy little Bonds PJs for Tabby, Peter Alexander baggy pants for me.  Lots of cups of tea, watching some DVDs and knitting while she naps.  A nice quiet week to stay at home (and get lots of washing done!).  Here is Tabitha mooching around in her PJs.  I got 5 pairs of cute Bonds cotton PJs for $10 a pair!!  Amazing!

• Finally, we have used this as motivation to have a super-healthy week.  Lots of fresh vegetables, fruit, and lots of baby pro-biotics for Tabitha (I take them too, and some does go through the breastmilk, but since she's ill I'm dosing her up).

Being a first-time mumma, I'm no expert on illness!!  But here is what works for us:

• Our nifty Vicks Vaporiser.  I have mentioned these before - they are brilliant, make a huge difference to chest and nose congestion, and allow Tabby to sleep well at night and during the day.

• Her chest cough was pretty bad this morning, so I sat in the bathroom with her (door closed) and put the shower on HOT and let it run into the bath (with a plug) until the whole room got steamy, and the bath was half full.  I then topped the bath up with a little cold water, to get normal bath temperature, and we both sat in the warm bath, in the VERY steamy room, for half an hour or so.  This helped to clear up her chest a little.

• Lots and lots of babywearing!  As long as she is firmly attached to me, Tabitha is happy.  She seems to breathe better, too, being upright, and having her against me keeps her nice and warm.  This pretty piece of fabric has been our saviour for the past few days:

• Tabitha has shown minimal interest in solid foods while sick, so she's been having lots of breastmilk around the clock - a good feed every couple of hours.  This is brilliant, because I know she is hydrated, getting a balanced diet (protein/fat/carbs/sugars etc) and lots of natural antibodies and vitamins.

Hopefully she starts to improve over the next couple of days...

My breastfeeding journey

A reader of this blog asked me to share my own breastfeeding story - I am pleased to do so, because I had a somewhat difficult time, and I think it's useful to share this sort of story, in the hope that other women who are struggling can see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Warning - this is loooooong!

I felt very well prepared for breastfeeding.  The preparation I had included:

• I had read a couple of books specifically on breastfeeding - I consider the best ones to be Breastfeeding... Naturally (which is so comprehensive, and you actually get a free copy if you subscribe to the Australian Breastfeeding Association), and Breastfeeding Your Baby, plus you can find some other excellent ones HERE;

• I had watched YouTube clips on attachment, latch and breastfeeding positions - there are some AWESOME clips here http://www.drjacknewman.com/video-clips.asp ;

• I had spent extensive time on online forums and blogs, reading the stories and advice from other mothers;

• I had extensively researched the benefits of a baby having milk from its own species, and the problems associated with artificial feeding;

• I had chatted at great length with my own private midwife, herself an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant), about possible problems with breastfeeding, and felt confident of receiving excellent support from her if I needed it;

• I was familiar with the international Baby Friendly Health Initiative, outlining the ten steps most important in the early days (in hospitals, primarily) for breastfeeding;

• Importantly, I had actually observed a lot of breastfeeding - I lived at home while my mother breastfed my younger sister (I was 17 when she was born), and she breastfed for over 18 months.  Breastfeeding for me, growing up, amongst my friends and family, was completely normal.  I have watched my aunts breastfeed many children, and some of my earliest memories are of my friend's mother breastfeeding her younger two siblings.  I remember the cabbage leaves, and how nice and cosy they looked, curled up with their mother;

• Importantly - I had no experience, really, with artificial feeding.  I don't know anyone who simply did not breastfeed at all, and every close family member and family friend has breastfed their children - including twins and even triplets.  The idea of 'formula' was very foreign to me, and didn't register with me as an option.  I considered - and still consider - artificial milk to be an absolute last resort.  I do not judge women who use artificial milks, however I am saddened that they are normalised in our society, and that women who want to breastfeed (nearly every woman, it seems) are not given better support and information.  When I was younger, I observed my aunt donating her excess breastmilk to other mothers in her area, and remember thinking to myself "well, that seems sensible, I'm glad those other babies can get milk".  I learnt recently that breastfeeding initiation rates are lowest amongst women who plan to return to paid work the earliest - so it seems that paid maternity leave, better support for expressing women, and good facilities with paid lactation breaks at work are all really crucial in increasing breastfeeding rates (these are all part of international codes which Australia does not adhere to).

So, you can see, I thought I was pretty prepped for breastfeeding.  And truly, I suppose that I was - there is nothing else, really, that I could have done.  Which really underscores just how vital support is in the early weeks and months of breastfeeding - no matter how much preparation a woman does, breastfeeding DOES often require support.

Many women think, quite logically, that because breastfeeding is natural, it will come naturally.  However, I believe breastfeeding is more akin to dancing, singing, speaking - things that are natural, yet us humans learn and improve at by watching, observing, copying, and receiving instruction.  Many women have never observed breastfeeding 'close up' - that is, the actual latch between mouth and breast, the positioning of the head etc.  Other mammals are fascinated to watch their kin breastfeed - in fact, I recently watched a television show about a zoo, where an orang utan was pregnant, and the keepers were concerned about her raising a baby, since she had not been exposed to other orang utans.  What did they do?  They brought in a breastfeeding woman!  The orang utan sat and watched, closely and with fascination, checking out the breastfeeding from every angle.  So it seems that it is natural for mammals to learn about breastfeeding through observation.  It is also known that primates in the wild will assist each other with breastfeeding - repositioning an infant, and sharing breastfeeding duties if a mother's milk supply is low.

MY STORY

So, what happened when Tabitha was born?  After nearly 45 hours of labour, out came this active, wriggly baby, who promptly latched on (by herself, as I had asked for in my birth plan), and fed voraciously for over two hours!!!  That's right!  She latched on one side, and after about half an hour, she pulled off and rooted around for the other breast.  Because I was exhausted, the midwife showed me how to feed her lying down on my side.  She fed on the other side for half an hour, the switched BACK to the first breast, and thirty minutes later, back to the second breast!  She seemed happy, relaxed, and very focused on her task.  At the end of this marathon 2-hour feeding, both of my nipples already had a small blood-blister.  I must say, from the moment she latched on, I was absolutely shocked at the strength and force of the sucking of this little, seemingly helpless, creature.  She sucked much more forcefully that first day than she ever has since, and fed for longer.  It is clear to me that this initial feed was important for her to connect to me.  It is a powerful memory for me.

I had a fair amount of colostrum (the first, thick and rich milk which the breasts produce in the initial few days), and Tabitha didn't actually loose any weight at all (most babies loose some weight in the early days, which they then re-gain).  For the first few days, while the feeding did hurt a little, I was quietly confident about breastfeeding.  I am thankful that we didn't have any extra initial complications, such as cleft pallet or tongue tie, to deal with.

Our problems really began on day two.  Two days after Tabitha was born, it was my birthday, and I woke up 'with new breasts for my birthday' - I had gone from a B cup, to a D cup during pregnancy, to an absolutely bursting, painful, shiny-stretched-skin F cup.  My breasts were burning hot, painful to the touch, and leaked milk constantly.  I suffered from a fairly dramatic 'Oversupply'.

For many women, under-supply is a problem - they don't seem to produce enough milk.  This is very common, and often symptomatic of poor hospital practices such as timed feeds, scheduled feeding, poor latch instruction, induced and augmented labours, and drugs during labour which can affect a newborn's feeding for hours or even days, as well as a woman's own production of milk.  All of these things, however, can be rectified with the appropriate information, support and instruction (feeding more regularly, for longer, improving latch, increasing fluids and food, sometimes taking prescription medications, plenty of skin-on-skin time to increase hormones which may have been interrupted during augmented labours, etc).  Under-supply is a common reason given by women who felt they could not breastfeed their babies.  It is really sad, because almost all of these women can breastfeed with the correct support - it is absolutely not the fault of the women, and none of them should ever feel guilty for doing the best that they could.  Over 95 per cent of women can physiologically breastfeed (according to the World Health Organisation and all other reputable medical organizations, including our own government).  Of those women, most do want to breastfeed - so it is always my hope that they can receive the support they need to do so.

I had the opposite problem - I had a massive OVERsupply of milk.  This comes with its own real problems.  The problems that I had with breastfeeding, over the first six weeks, were:

• The engorgement I suffered was particularly painful - the skin was stretched so tightly that it felt like a bad sunburn, and the entire breast area was burning hot (to feel, and to the touch);

• Because the breasts were so engorged, Tabitha couldn't latch on properly, as there was no 'give' in the skin for her to grip her mouth onto.  This was combined with the fact that there was SO much milk, everything was all slippery.  So basically, for the initial month or two, the latch was dreadful, with poor Tabitha trying to suck hard on the nipple, instead of getting a good mouthful of areola and breast.  This caused MAJOR nipple damage;

• When breastfeeding, the nipple should be right down the back of the mouth, against the soft palate.  Instead, because she couldn't take it in properly, the tip of the nipple was constantly mashed between her bony gums and the hard palate.  My nipples were so, so damaged - they started to take on the shape of triangles (the ends being so mashed and flattened), and I developed deep, deep cracks and fissures;

• The cracks and fissures were, at worst, a couple of mm across, with whole chunks of skin sometimes being sucked from the nipples.  Because the baby feeds ALL the time, the nipples never have more than a couple of hours' break, so the damaged and wounded, broken skin can never heal.  The open wounds were just constantly being re-mashed!  There was a lot of blood - in fact, at one point, I was expressing only from one side (the damage got too bad) and the milk was all tinged pink, because of the blood!

• It was somewhat inevitable, with my oversupply, that I ended up with mastitis.  My amazing midwives were over at our house every day (sometimes twice) right from day one, and every time they would carefully check my breasts for lumps, which would be heated with a hot compress and massaged out (OUCH!!!!!!).  I used hot compresses before every feed, and cold compresses (and cabbage leaves, and frozen cloths) after each feed - yes, for weeks!  A couple of times, my midwife hand-expressed a breast, to empty it completely (this is more effective for getting lumps out than a pump, but is more painful I think!).  Sadly, despite all of this, one morning I woke up with the awful flu-like symptoms of mastits, feeling like I'd been hit by a bus, not able to get out of bed (can you believe a visitor, who came to see the baby, had the audacity to complain that I didn't get out of bed for the visit?!).  I spent the next few days at a physiotherapist, getting ultrasound treatment - this is incredibly effective at getting rid of stubborn blockages.  It is also very expensive;

• My midwife came to visit first thing one morning, then had to go to a conference for the day.  She rushed over straight afterward, bursting into the bedroom, stating, "oh goodness, I haven't been able to concentrate at the conference all day, I couldn't stop worrying about your breasts!" which I found quite amusing;

• Another problem I experienced was associated with the oversupply, though can also be a separate issue - I had a very forceful letdown (I still do).  The letdown is a reflex, triggered by the sucking, where the muscles suddenly contract in the breast, making the milk come out - only in my case, the milk SPRAYS like a hose.  Still now, if Tabitha pulls off while feeding, I have been known to accidentally spray someone in the face!  This meant that poor Tabitha would gag, choke and sometimes vomit during the feeds in the early weeks, because there was too much milk, too fast.  Thankfully it's not so bad now!  Also - the vomiting never seemed to bother her - she would vomit, then just go back to her milk;

• It might seem trivial, but one of the most demoralising parts of my early breastfeeding experience was just being constantly soaked in milk.  I was producing literally litres a day, and much of it ended up in my hair, my clothing, drenching my sheets.  I would easily soak through 5 or 6 breastpads during a feed, so instead I had to use a whole bunched up towel for every feed.  I got really down, emotionally, and stopped wanting visitors, and didn't want to leave the house.  Everything smelt like milk, I was incredibly sore, and just felt miserable.

So, in short, the first 6 weeks were utter hell. I was often in tears - when Tabitha stirred, or looked hungry, I would often burst into frightened tears, I was so scared of feeding her because the pain was unbearable.  We had to take it 'one feed at a time' with The Daddy holding my hand while I squeezed it, and cried, every time I fed her.  I am SO HAPPY that not once did he suggest to me that we try a bottle of artificial milk - he knew how important breastfeeding was, and it would have really tipped me over the edge, emotionally, if anyone implied that I should give up.  No one did, not one person - my parents, husband, midwives, friends and family were all incredibly supportive, and I am so thankful.

For nearly a week (around week 3) we expressed and bottle fed (the expressed milk), to give my nipple damage a chance to heal (we hired an excellent Madela Symphony Double Pump from the ABA).  I was really upset about this (I found it upsetting to watch Tabitha drinking from a bottle), and it was hard (with sterilising the bottles and equipment, sitting up to pump during the night while The Daddy bottle fed etc), but it did help the healing process.  I made several midnight calls to the ABA, which helped (both with practical advice and lifting my spirits - the women on the phones are all just lovely).

I'm no martyr.  Many women go through the same things as I did, and worse - it is surprisingly common to have real trouble!!  It does frustrate me when I hear women say they couldn't breastfeed, when what they really mean is 'it became too hard'.  I do not judge these women at all - it truly IS bloody hard.  What frustrates me is knowing that, with better support, most women could get through those initial hard times, and go on to an enjoyable, easy and fun breastfeeding journey.  There is nothing special about me - I went through absolute hell, sobbed and sobbed, complained bitterly, however I had such excellent support that I kept on, and was able to get through.  A lot of women I have spoken to, who stopped breastfeeding, didn't call the ABA or seek any support beyond their GP (who, in many cases, recommends artificial milk, as most GPs are not trained in breastfeeding).  I urge you - if you know anyone who is struggling with breastfeeding, suggest that they call the ABA's free helpline 1800 MUM 2 MUM.  Also - give them a hug, a cup of tea, and mind the baby for them while they take a warm bath!

Being able to donate my excess milk to other mothers who were building up their low supply helped, by keeping my spirits up, and seeing some 'positive' out of a pretty crappy situation.  Another thing which really helped was going along to the ABA meetings, where there were lots of mums with older babies - many of them had been through similar problems, and reassured me that it DOES get easier, and that those early troubles soon fade from memory.

This is important:  It DOES get easier.  For the majority of women, the first 6 weeks or so are the worst.  As the baby gets bigger and stronger, the latch often naturally improves.  If you get support (phone, face-to-face with a lactation consultant or ABA counselor, full support at home etc), there is every chance you can breastfeed (over 95 per cent of women can).  Once you pass the initial hurdles, it is the most wonderful, rewarding experience - to just scoop up your baby anywhere, any time, and put them to the breast to feed.  Instant comfort - a bumped head?  No worries, straight on the breast and the crying stops instantly.  Breastfeeding used to be so painful, and is now one of my favourite parts of parenting.

BODY CHANGES

Someone also asked me about breastfeeding and its effect on my weight, and hunger.  To start with, I found that the pregnancy weight fell off - for the first few weeks and months, every time I looked in the mirror, I felt like I was smaller, just melting away.  In a good way!  I wasn't actually too much hungrier than usual - I spent a lot of time, in the early months, at home and in bed with the baby.  I made sure I ate nourishing foods (lots of protein, particularly), and didn't notice any real change in my appetite.  

After around 4 or 5 months, however, I realised I had actually started to put ON weight - just a couple of kilograms.  I thought about my diet, and realised I had been eating a lot more cake and sweets than I needed to.  Partly, would you believe because of all the Mothers' Groups and ABA meetings etc., where there was always an endless supply of cakes, biscuits and muffins!  So I made an effort to avoid all these empty calorie 'extras', and found this was enough to keep the weight loss back on track.  

After around 8.5 months, I am now back to the pre-pregnancy weight - however, my shape has certainly changed!  My waistline is a few centimeters bigger, which I noticed when I tried on some old dresses and skirts, and I'm not sure if it will ever go back.  I suspect it's a result of the changes to the body from inside (moving of ribs, internal organs etc.) during pregnancy, rather than due to weight changes.

Now, I find that I am always thirsty (I drink 3 - 4 litres of water a day, and have since the birth), and while I am not particularly hungry (no more than pre-baby), I do notice that I can't go too long without eating - more than a few hours, and I become dizzy and faint.  I suppose this is because the body is constantly working to produce milk.

So.  That is my story (believe it or not, there is looooads more!).  I guess the main reason I am training as a breastfeeding counselor is that it makes me really sad when women who want to breastfeed, really want to, end up not being able to - it is so rarely the mother's 'fault'.  But when we know that over 95 per cent of women CAN breastfeed, it is clear that more support and education is needed - so that  all these women who want to breastfeed, are able to.

This is a really excellent article articulating the Australian Breastfeeding Association's views on artificial milk and low breastfeeding rates.  I think it's kind and supportive to all women.

Here is a photo of me feeding Tabitha.  She is about 2 weeks old, and it is the first time I fed her out in public, I think.  I was grimacing through the pain, with the nipple damage, but I remember feeling really proud to be able to sit and feed her in a restaurant.

Afghans and Honey

Today was a day of good food!  This morning, I made some Afghan biscuits (my favourite biscuit to make at a minute's notice, since all the ingredients are normally in the cupboard, and they store really well).

The recipe I use is from the brilliant New Zealand cookery book, Ladies, A Plate, which I have mentioned here before - it is a compilation of dozens of classic recipes from women around New Zealand.

Here is how you make them - I seriously suggest you try baking a batch, they really are ridiculously good, and dead easy to make:

AFGHANS

Cream 170g butter with 100g brown sugar.  Add (sifted together) 180g plain flour, 3 tablespoons cocoa and 1/2 teaspoon of baking powder.  Mix, then knead in (with your hands) 2 cups of cornflakes (crush them first).

Roll teaspoonsful of the dough into balls (about the size of a large cherry), then flatten each ball slightly with a fork.  Allow about 2cm in between the balls, for a little spreading.

Bake at 180 degrees for 12 - 14 minutes.  Cool on a rack.

To make the rich, fudge-like frosting, gently heat together in a small saucepan 3 tablespoons of water, 45g caster sugar and 45g butter.  Once melted, bring to a rapid simmer for one minute (do not stir), to form a light syrup.

Pour about 3/4 of the syrup into a bowl containing 190g pure icing sugar sifted together with 3 tablespoons of cocoa, and beat well as you're pouring.  Add a little more syrup only if needed - you want a thick, smooth, fudgy icing.  As you use the icing, you can add a little more syrup or plain hot water if it starts to thicken and cool.

Spread a good, thick layer of icing onto each biscuit (about a teaspoon per biscuit), then place a walnut half onto each one as you go.

Leave them to set - they will keep well in a tin for a few days.

At dinnertime, Tabitha tried an Afghan.  She liked it, but after eating about a third of a biscuit, she dropped it and went back to her chicken and vegetable pot pie!  I don't really have a big sweet tooth, perhaps she is taking after me.

This evening, The Daddy brought home a jar of honey he was given at work - from an apiarist in Blackburn!  A man has a little colony of bees in the middle of the nice bushland area of Blackburn, and produces his own honey.  We have a great big jar of it - and it is excellent.  Tabitha can't try the honey, as honey should never be given to babies under the age of one, as there is a small but serious risk of deadly botulism poisoning.

Apparently, keeping bees in your backyard (urban apiary) is the latest trend - keeping chickens is so last decade!  This is an interesting article about all the beehives in Paris.